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"Un freamăt firav, un murmur de fulg, abia iţit, abia ochi, din încremenita humă, zvâcnind. "

Despre demenţa producătorilor de vodcă (X)


Un aproape ultim episod, cum s-ar zice. Chestii vechi de aproape 3 ani, încă nepublicate!

Şi dumneavoastră ce fumaţi?

Păi…pipă…

Bun, în regulă. Atunci am să-i consider doar pe prietenii tăi cu ţigări fumători.


Vieţile paralele sunt prea obscure pentru a fi interesat de ele.


Şi eu vreau să fiu tot liberală. Liberală şi cu bărbaţi.

Te-ai săturat de gagici prin preajmă?

Da, m-am săturat. Vreau 65-75% bărbaţi. Măcar vreo 2-3 ani, să-mi revin.


Drăguţă, tu intuieşti claviculele?


Să nu rămâie Doamne fereşte prea mult nebăut după aia.

Mi-e teamă că aşa ceva este imposibil.


Cu poliţia iei bătaie, dar cu el nu.


Uite ce scrie pe site-ul Poşta Română: “Moş Crăciun a primit de la copiii români peste 70.000 de scrisori.”

Auci, ma duare.

De ce?

Săracul Moş...

Săracii copilaşi ...


Din când în când, pe ea diversitatea o dă gata.


Da’ tu nu vrei să te îmbraci în bumbac?

Păi e de la 200 în sus.

Da’ tu nu ai SH? Rude în străinătate?


Ai istorie, vinzi ce vrei.


Să pui ceva special pentru mine, că altfel nu vin.

Siiigur, moadmazelă, cum să nu! Poate găsesc şi o limuzină să te ia de acasă.

Nu-i nevoie, că nu-s în scaun cu rotile.


Tu ai un nume cosy.

Sunt mişto cu totu', nu te lega doar de nume.


…nu domnişoară, noi doar constatăm.



Câteodată trebuie să faci ceva imoral şi greşit ca să ajungi la starea asta. Să te simţi împlinit.

Eu, ca băieţel, pot confirma asta din plin.


Cred că tuturor ni s-a întâmplat o dată în viaţă cel puţin să citim o carte şi să adormim cu cartea pe burtă...acum foloseşte-ţi imaginaţia şi te rog, nu adormi!





Un tort în formă de Clodius aş vrea.

Nu avem nimic în formă de discobol.


Voi reveni!

Tu şi Iisus.


Ce bine arată ananasul!

Da, aşa e, dar doar eu mănânc din el.


Păi nu ştii cum e? Până nu zici că am dreptate, nu tac. Aşa am învăţat io.

Şi aşa văd că i-ai învăţat şi pe alţii...


Între doi români există diavolul.


A venit vecina la mine într-o seară. Mi-a cerut o şurubelniţă.

Şi e simpatică? Tinerică?

Da, da, pare valabilă. E studentă.

Te pomeneşti că o fi la Litere.

Neah, ascultă muzică siropoasă.

Atunci o fi de la ASE.


Dar nu la spaţiul fizic mă refer. Ci la cel simbolic. Simt nevoia să mă întind prin tot universul.

Atât de expandabilă te simţi?


Uite, *-99-HUG.

Da, dar dacă ar fi fost *-69-HUG…


Oare oamenii care nu au grija zilei de mâine se deprimă lunea?


Cine a compus nostalgia?

Un dement.


Pentru că m-am lăsat de fumat, fac cutiuţe.

Bine că nu faci liniuţe.


It's ok dear, your kitty cats cand do right without beeing baptized.

But... what about heaven?


Asta înseamnă că e momentul să ne retragem fiecare sub pătura lui.

Nu. Greşit. E momentul să ne retragem sub aceeaşi pătură.


“Băi, eu am burtă şi îmi plac mult tipele alea, aşa că du-te tu la ele.”


Dar mai încolo ce e?

O crâşmă.

Păi nu e continuarea locului acesta?

Nu, aici e o minune.


Păi nu vrei o maşină roşie?

Ba nu, că e pentru femei…

Păi şi…tu oi fi altceva?

Eu sunt muză.


Dacă vrei ceva frumos găseşti în carneţel.


Atât de răi sunt golanii de Constanţa?

Heartless, mindless, cynical motherfuckers. Nimic ce te-ar putea speria.


Mergem la Gărâna anu’ ăsta?

Da, mergem. Ai tu tractor?


Tolăneală se compune şi se execută în doi.


Îţi doresc binele.

Vă doresc supremul bine atunci!

Zi Doamne-ajută să nu mă reţină la bulgari pentru consum.

Daca nici ăsta nu e supremul bine pentru tine, acum...


Eşti ca o pereche de tenişi după o noapte de stilettos fără platformă.


Aşa aş mânca nişte clătite. OF!

Să ştii că ai DREPTATE. Am să-mi cumpăr de la MEGA IMAGE.

Corect e ”Am SĂ-ŢI cumpăr”. Mai corect e ”am SĂ-ŢI fac”.

Şi ideal e "AM să ţi le aduc repede repede".


Ce faci?

Uite...cam bolnav. Cam fragil. Simt necesitatea atenţiei şi a unei prezenţe feminine delicate şi grijulii.

Mama?


Cu fermoar în urechi ai multe posibilităţi.


Băi, l-am văzut pe Fuego.

Da, serios?

Păi da…era într-un jeep.

Şi nu te-ai dus să-l atingi?

Băi nu, am vrut să-i arăt fundu’, dar mi-a fost cam teamă.

Sigur, cred şi eu, ar fi sărit pe tine dacă te-ar fi văzut: fund, fund…


Garanţia narativului dintr-o fustă: tone de material în ea.


Am primtit cadourile ideale până acum: pipă şi stilou.

Stai că vine ziua ta, o să primeşti ceva care o să completeze kitul de poet.

Aoleu, ori e eşarfă…ori e ceainic. Sau lamă?


Eu nu rămân dacă nu ai Ketonal.


Hai mă Donattelo, deschide sticla aia mai repede.

Dar de ce mi-ai zis aşa, că nu ăsta e numele meu.

Pentru că nu ţi se potriveşte Federico…


Sarmalele, premisă a convivialităţii.


Să ştii că frigul nu există.

Tu îi spui lui Moş Gerilă că nu există ger?


Nike nu o să dea niciodata faliment la Constanţa.


Ce tare, telefonul ăsta se deschide ca o uşă de Porsche.

Poate pentru că e făcut pentru oameni care au Porsche.


Te fierb în Evian.


Despre ce este 2001: A space odissey?

Ei bine, deşi s-a făcut în 1969, nimeni nu ştie încă exact despre ce e vorba.


Vinete, connecting people.

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